Resisting Resistance

I am trying to get in the mode of writing but it’s hard. Because Resistance.

I think a more accurate description is internal resistance. I have been reading a book given to me by one of my professors, The War of Art. It discusses the simple fact that when you have the passion, the heaven-called vocation to produce art (in whatever form that may take – I have twofold art, I’ll talk about that later), there is an internal force that pulls you in the opposite direction. What is this pull? The author, Steven Pressfield calls it “Resistance.” This appears at the root of all bulwarks of accomplishment, it works in concert with fear, self-doubt, sex, self-medication and a myriad of other things to prevent us from being who we are meant to be.

So this very post is resistance to resistance. That’s why I want to distinguish it as an INTERNAL resistance that halts, in this instance, me from writing the piece that will change the world, while it is a Critically Conscious Resistance that presses on toward greatness.

I am trying to write a few things in order for them to be published at some point. Small scale – in some newsletters, mid scale- in a graduate student journal, and large scale – in a peer reviewed journal. Am I trying to be too ambitious? Should I wait until I have conducted more research? Should I wait until I have finished my doctorate? I think there are few times when I’ll have this much drive to accomplish more, learn more, be more. I literally had folks told me I wasn’t going to be successful and that I wouldn’t make it to where I am. It’s not enough to just BE here, I need to DO something here. There is no time like the present as they say. PLUS, the world is quite honestly disintegrating around us, there’s no time to wait anymore.

I spent today and will spend tomorrow evening as well on campus into the late evening watching and discussing the issues in the Netflix documentary, “13th.” I have faith in some of our next generation but there are plenty others we need to do more than just pray for. Education, I believe, is the answer, because it changed me. I’m not talking about my degree but what the journey made me.

There are a lot of people who research or dialogue about things I’m interested in but not many from my vantage point and no one can speak for me but me. I’m pretty much done with relying on others to voice what I can voice myself. My voice matters and I’m going to wield it like a weapon to empower others as well. I vocalized this for the first time in an activity in class two weeks ago. This proves once again, I’m right where I need to be and I’m doing exactly what I need to be doing.

 

Things I’m reading (Cuz I can only leisure read in bits at a time): 

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Transcending the Talented Tenth: Black leaders and American intellectuals by Joy James

Intersectionality by Patricia Hill Collins & Sirma Bilge

From #BlackLivesMatter to Black Liberation by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor

Black Panther by Ta-Nehisi Coates

books-im-reading

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